her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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