We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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