I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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