She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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