She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
