Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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