ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
