my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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