he thought i was a dude.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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