imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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