Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
