im about as happy as oj after his trial
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize