i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
