i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
My vagina just recognized that song.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
