I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
