Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
