So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
