When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
