mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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