And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he puts the penis in happiness.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
