I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
