You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
