Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
