You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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