...so i touched it.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize