Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
