I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
