It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
