It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
