Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
