apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
