I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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