So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
