he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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