His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
