Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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