Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
