btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
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If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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