Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
