Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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