He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We talked him into tasing himself.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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