Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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