The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
