need another drink. this is the easiest way
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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