NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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