no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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