weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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