I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dicks are not precious.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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