Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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