dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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