you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
