At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
