I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
