Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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