We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
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i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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