I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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