I need help removing her.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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