wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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