whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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