so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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