I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
