I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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