Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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