he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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