her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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