Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
