After last night, I could never be a politician.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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