glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
